A good marriage. What's the secret?
Why is it that some relationships last and others don't. I would imagine it's been the thesis topic of many a psychology student. I can't speak for other peoples' relationships, but I would like to think that as Nicole and I celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary today, there have been certain key variables that have ensured we continually roll as one.
So often, when you ask someone about the proposal day, they'll say they proposed even though there was a little niggle in the back of their minds that said don't do it. That's a little fissure crack that can only widen as the years go by. Going back to the day I proposed to Nicole, I knew with 100% certainty that this was what I wanted to do.
We believe in doing the small things everyday. No matter how chaotic the day, we kiss each other when we say hello and say goodbye. We'll sometimes stop in the passage and give each other a 5-second hug in between sorting out the kids squabbling. It helps us maintain the intimacy within the frenetic antics of our daily chores.
There's a few other values we believe in too. Honesty. There are no mind games. We play open cards with each other. If something bugs me or her, we bring it out in the open. Not in an aggressive way. It's a discussion. In the 12 years in total we've been together, we've had only 2 arguments where we've gone off in a huff. Don't get me wrong, we differ in opinions on many subjects, including sometimes on matters that involve parental discipline. But we don't attack each other. I suppose its because we respect each other.
Laughter. It's not a concerted effort to make each other smile. It just happens. It helps that we share the same sense of humour.
We are by no means the poster kids for the perfect couple. We get tired and grumpy. We opt to rather have an early night than romp all night long. We're just a normal married couple that know we made the right choice.
Someone once said:
"You know you've found your soulmate when you can spend the whole afternoon together not saying a single word, and at the end of the day you still feel like you've had the best conversation of your life".
Happy 9th anniversary to the love of my life! xx
What we do for love.
But, my man cave didn't last too long. When we had kids a year or so later, we realised we didn't have a space for them to play, so my wife kicked me out of the cave and it was transformed into a playroom:
I created a new office on the upper landing, but it wasn't ideal as I had kid traffic running past me all the time and also it wasn't quiet enough to do voice overs. In exasperation, I decided to create a new man cave and knocked down a wall or two to squeeze another room into the house!:
So, for the last year I've had my man cave and padded voice studio back again!
...until this week. Nicole has re-ignited her passion for painting and on Sunday I came home to a squatter in my man cave. A new desk had been squeezed in and there's now paint and other "painty stuff" in my office.
So I no longer have my dedicated man cave, and while I'm doing voice overs Nicole is 1 metre away painting canvases. In all honesty though, I wouldn't want it any other way.
Nothing says "I love you" more than welcoming your wife into your man cave.
Happy birthday to the love of my life!
For many people it's an elusive concept that never really seems to exist.
I thought so too until the very first time I laid eyes on Nicole. I just knew.
To the girl who has always made me smile from our very first date 10 years ago:
To the girl who wears sunglasses when cutting onions:
To the girl who leaves her comfort zone to wear a moustache on the cover of a magazine for me:
To the girl who is the best mum in the world:
To the girl who chose me to spend her life with:
I love you. Happy birthday!
Happy anniversary to the love of my life!
The first time I saw her I knew she was my soulmate and I wanted to marry her. As I glanced at her through a recording studio window I was at a loss for words (at a moment when I was being paid to talk).
Seven years ago today, on 7/7/7, Nicole and I got married on a beach in Mauritius...
About seventy close friends and family made the journey and joined us. Here's a collage of some great moments: